I've decided to add a fun little section on this blog called "quotes." The reason why I'm adding it is because I've been told I say the oddest or funniest things, so I decided I'd share my apparent insanity with you all.
For a course I'm taking, Challenges and Changes in Society, I had to act as a social scientist. I was picked to act as the father of sociology, Emile Durkheim. Here is my ultra-groovy script:
I was born for this, right? Anyway, at the 3rd paragraph, I went up to my friend who acted as Karl Marx the previous day for his social scientist presentation, and he was quite... shocked, I guess? Everyone was laughing. We all had a good time.
That's right, your ass contributes to global warming. How is this so? Well, your ass contains fart. Fart contains gases. These gases are oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane. Methane is a radioactive gas. Radioactivity contributes to global warming. When unifying together, the effects of methane and carbon dioxide are drastic on the environment.
Where'd I get my ingredient list? From KidsHealth! I was actually very surprised but happy to see that little kids have an outlet to learn about this stuff on the internet, as opposed to that croc-o-shit of Barney or Sesame Street or whatever it is that little kids watch.
Further reading: Methane's Effect On Climate Change May Be Twice Previous Estimates
Feel very guilty about your next flaytus release.
Meet Chris Johnston, a 49-year-old ex Minister who now works as a Loan Officer in the banking industry. We had an interesting interview on his move from faithful to faithless.
Hello, Chris Johnston! I believe you mentioned at some point that you were a minister for 15 years, but suddenly had a change of heart and turned to Atheism. Why did you pick Atheism over Christianity?
Wow, let's jump right in! Okay! Honestly, it's not like I put Christianity on one side and measured it against Atheism. The two are not in that kind of competition. And it was hardly sudden.
I became a Christian at the age of 14, and "answered the call to preach" at 15. It was one way to be different, to get some attention for a geeky, skinny kid. My first sermon took hours to prepare and the whole thing lasted ten minutes! I spent the next few years preparing for the ministry. I started out as a Southern Baptist (largest protestant denomination in the country at that time) but switched to independent Baptist after my first year of college. That meant I was no longer affiliated with Southern Baptists, but was a member of a church that was very loosely associated through a common string of doctrines. This was extremely fundamentalistic. In fact, to us, Jerry Falwell was quite a compromiser, the worst insult you could give to another Christian, in our eyes!
I spent some time at a now-defunct bible "college" in Tennessee where I met my first wife. In time we had two children, I finally graduated from an accredited college with a bachelor's degree in Theology and a minor in history. During that time I pastored a rural Mississippi church. As it turned out, the church members were so bigoted, they not only didn't want blacks, they also didn't want poor whites!
Following my graduation, I matriculated at a Southern Baptist seminary. About one year into my accelerated program, I realized I was in the wrong line of work. Somehow they were all talking about a relationship with Jesus as if it were actually a personal friendship, and I realized that I had never had that and didn't even know how it worked. I had been seeking for years for a deeper emotional and spiritual understanding, but somehow, there were no answers to prayer.
All this conflict gave me a great deal of difficulty with my personal life, so my wife took the kids home to momma and daddy, and we eventually divorced.
I continued as a seeker for some time, trying to find what I felt I had missed out on. I eventually discovered "Atlas Shrugged," by Ayn Rand. This led me to begin thinking about the nature of belief, faith, and evidence.
I realized that since 95% of the worlds' Christian church members actually live their daily lives as if there were no god, I would stop living the lie. I finally fully embraced atheism just two or three years ago, and came out in the last year or two.
How was it a way to get attention? Did you feel alone, and decided that, by becoming Christian, you'd at least have God to "keep you company"?
Tell us more about how you feel about Jerry Falwell, please.
How are "95% of the worlds' Christian church members actually live their daily lives as if there were no god"?
Good questions.
I was a geeky high schooler, 6'1" and 150 lbs, and didn't really fit in, in a small town where I had not been born. I had no athletic ability and our school was so small there was really only the "in" crowd and the hoodlums.
So my best friend and I were the "preacher boys," which got a lot of attention from the church and the older crowd. And no, it really had nothing to do with loneliness, I never really felt lonely growing up.
I didn't care much for Falwell and his "silent majority." This had more to do with what we considered his "doctrinal weakness" than anything else. We were more in the Bob Jones University crowd, although the "uppercrust" pretensions of that place were a little offputting for country boys who liked country and bluegrass music.
With time, I came to appreciate Falwell and others for what they are (were). Evangelicals who believe that it was their job to bring about Christian law. They pushed Scientific Creationism (that was its name in those days, not ID) and wanted to elect their kind of Christians to school boards and local, state, and national office. Eventually Falwell's popularity faded and I hadn't thought about him for years by the time he assumed room temperature.
Most Christians live their lives as if God did not exist. How else can you explain the response to Matthew 6?
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And yet Christians go about their lives working, saving, paying for health insurance, etc. because it's STUPID NOT TO! It is against human life to take no thought for tomorrow, and this is what the Bible is teaching here.
There are a great many more passages that come to mind. Remember how Jesus is reported to have said things like "turn the other cheek," and "blessed are the meek?" When was the last time you went on a Christian web forum and identified yourself as a satisfied atheist? Lots of love there, usually about the time they realize they cannot win the argument!
Certain In-Laws who shall remain nameless are a good case in point. They love their church. They take discipleship classes. She fills in on piano. He teaches Sunday School. If we go to the lake to visit with them, it's always us disrespecting them because we won't go to church with the. In fact, you could say they never miss a Sunday.
Unless the Chiefs are in town (season tickets). Or they have a trip somewhere. Then they are blissfully unaware that churches exist and are in session on Sunday morning! Is it just me, or is something missing here?
This is a fun thing. It feels good to say some of these things. I just tried to access your blog, though, and got an error message. Let me know when you start posting some of it.
Good answers, Chris.
What is Falwell's "silent majority" and "doctrinal weakness," in your opinion? What's the "Bob Jones University crowd"? How do you feel about Scientific Creationism being pushed into schools?
I'd also like to add something. Would you say that the lack of dedication to Christianity on the part of Christians was a comparatively strong influencing factor in your move to Atheism, or was it comparatively minor as opposed to other factors?
Wow, did I say "silent majority?" That was a term coined by Richard Nixon in a speech from Novermber 3, 1969 at the height of the Watergate scandal.
What I meant to say, was "Moral Majority," an evangelical-leaning-toward-fundamentalist political organ founded by Jerry Falwell in 1979. Wikipedia has an excellent article concerning the Moral Majority. We were of a stricter stripe, doctrinally speaking, than Falwell's church. We thought he was a "compromiser," the worst thing our crowd could ever call someone who was, in truth, as close to us doctrinally as anyone could be. However, we were a little closer to "Hardshell" baptists than anything. A Hardshell Baptist is one who believes in Calvinist predestination, that God's plan all along was to create the world and everything in it, and plan from the beginning to redeem only his chosen few. Today I recoil at this idea of a god more than almost any other. It makes him seem like a petulant child as well as a sadistic thug.
Had I continued in that type of church, I shudder to think what may have happened. We were close to endorsing abortion provider murders, clinic bombings, and the like. In those days, a very slick and well-done video series was making the rounds: Francis Schaffer's "How Shall We Then Live?" He popularized the notion that abortion was a new Holocaust more terrible than the slaughter of six million Jews, not to mention millions of retarded, handicapped, homosexuals, and others.
Bob Jones University was founded in the 1920s by, of all people, an evangelist by the name of Bob Jones, Sr. Go figure! It's a fundamentalist institution which has added a veneer of classical culture. BJU (the University where you are likely to get a BJ but not tell anyone) graduates tend to have a condescending attitude toward graduates of other Christian schools, even fundamentalist ones. They liken themselves to Harvard. They look down on all manner of popular culture, including country and bluegrass music, preferring classical, etc.
Presidency of the university has passed to the fourth generation Jones under Stephen Jones, son of Bob Jones III. Of course god approves of this particular method of passing the mantle in order to ensure continuation of the legacy.
I'd rather think about it than feel about it. Feelings about it simply elevate emotionalism to the place that faith occupies in religionists. That being said, I am passionately against anyone attempting to appropriate a place akin to science for their mythology.
http://www.venganza.org/ is an excellent answer for the push to instill "Intelligent Design," (ID) which is "Scientific Creationism", which is the creation myth dressed up in scientific language. ID was being pushed in Kansas by the Kansas Board of Education. The method they were using was insidious. By redefining science, they hoped to make room for supernatural explanations for natural phenomena. The "Flying Spaghetti Monster" was an attempt to show how silly it was to take one supernatural explanation over any other. It has since become a cultural phenomenon, and you can see one of its posters at the top of my blog, http://faith-in-action.blogspot.com.
This was proven in court in the case of the Dover, PA school board. U.S. District Judge John E. Jones ruled that ID is not science and cannot be used in the public school. All of this is fascinating reading and should be required.
And I would say the lack of dedication on the part of Christians was simply an aggravating factor. I spent many years defying that trend, looking into mysticism, spending hour after hour praying for something more than I had experienced. I know now, that the prayers were never heard outside that room.
Speaking of Jerry Falwell and the Moral Majority, how do you feel about Pat Robertson's revival of the group under the name of the Moral Majority Coalition? How do you generally feel about Pat Robertson? Would you liken him to a terrorist such as Osama Bin Laden, like Ethical Atheist did, or not? Why?
Hmm... you said you were close to "endorsing abortion provider murders." I'm sure you meant "endorsing abortion-provided murders"? What'd you mean there?
Here's some things I'm going to assume about the BJU crowd, given the time and Christian standing:
Definitely an all-male university. Since they weren't allowed to have sex before marriage, that's why they'd commit homosexual activity "under the table," in reference to your BJ pun. They were tied up in the past, possibly with Gregorian music, and always deemed tradition to be better, even though they never gave modern music a chance.
Am I correct? Please tell me what I got wrong.
Anyway, back to the questions... can you give our readers an example of ID "preachings" dressed with science?
I think it's specious at best to lump Pat Robertson, who engages in offensive religious speech, with Osama bin Laden, who murders innocent men, women, and children in order to creat terror and achieve his political or religious aims. Do I think he would like to see a theocracy here in the U.S. under his own brand of Xianity? (Wow spell it like that and it sounds eerily like insanity) Of course he would. Would he stoop to terrorism to achieve it? Well, the man isn't stupid or crazy. Religiously, I believe he's about at the same level of fanaticism, except that Islam makes men like OBL heroes and the New Testament is a more passive document.
No, I meant what I said. At that time, killing an abortion providing doctor was being likened, in more extreme churches, to an act of defending the defenseless, where we would use lethal force to stop someone from raping a baby, for instance. It was a scary precipice.
Almost all of it. *Laughs* It's a co-ed christian university started in the 1920's by fundamentalists. Their hatred of folk, country, etc. is simply an affectation of culture. It's very off-putting. And the blowjob thingy has nothing to do with homosexuality. It's just that the culture is so very strict, it's easy to see where hypocrisy can creep in.
A Google search on "Intelligent Design" should yield plenty of instances.
So, Flora, I am enjoying this interview. I am curious to know more about you, too. I understand you are in high school in Toronto? And that you were born in Iraq?
What can you tell me about your life so far? Are you truly atheist? And I see a great deal of difficulty in your relationship with your father. Do you feel more free to resist since you live in Canada, instead of a Muslim country? And how has the tube of lip gloss thing gone? Did everything come out all right?
Can you give the readers a reason as to how it's not passive?
What do you mean by "an affectation of culture"? Do you mean a false hatred or dislike of sorts?
Seriously, Chris, that ID search almost made me throw up. Ramen!
Yup. Born in Iraq. No, I'm not taking school in Toronto, but very near there.
My life's going quite good. I'm working on a lot of social activist projects with a Christian service animator (believe me, she's a great lady), and a buddy of mine, who also happens to be named Chris. We're hoping to get our projects known on a global scale someday. He's really such a great guy, and he's only in 10th grade!
Yes, I am truly an Atheist. Funny thing is, people thought I'd be depressed after giving up my strong beliefs in God. But let me tell you, that was when my depression decreased on such a large scale. I've learned to live life to live, not to live life to hide. I can just be me, and go through life helping others without having to worry what's going to happen to me. And I can't wait to see the impact I have on other people's lives.
I do feel more able to resist. It wasn't about whether I'm a female anymore when we came to Canada - it was about the individual. Though women still have a path to walk here, it's way fucking better than being most places in the Middle East.
The lip gloss thing has gone well. Wow, I post everything about me at ATWKS, haha. But I thought it was funny and so I'd share it. But wow, it really was a drag. I don't want to go into details about HOW I managed to get it out.
And Chris, I'm really enjoying the interview too!
Modern terrorists take an active role in trying to achieve their aim. For the Islamist, I believe that aim is total Shari'a domination of the world.
Pat Robertson would like the same thing (except with his interpretation of the moral code, his brand of Xianity in charge) but would never stoop to blowing up innocent people to achieve his aim. I attribute that partly to the nature of the New Testament (even though he twists it when it suits him) but mostly to the secular society the United States has always had. We have always believed that we had to convince someone, not threaten them, to get them to truly convert.
The New Testament is a very passive book. In fact, it's pacifist. When jesus simply tells his followers to turn the other cheek, and pray for those who "despitefully" use them, it's obviously a pacifist book. How neoconservatives and the religious right make Jesus into some sort of warrior god is beyond me.
Funny, the differences between the teachings of Jesus (whose existence I tentatively stipulate as a holdover from so many years of indoctrination) and the teachings of the modern evangelica churches.
Jesus on public "righteousness"(Gospel of Matthew chapter 6):
1"Beware of practicing your righteousness before men (A)to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.
2"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they (B)may be honored by men (C)Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
3"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
4so that your giving will be in secret; and (D)your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Church practice: big deal about giving, huge deal about good works, everyone goes to church to see and be seen. Many churches preach about a success gospel that says if you are successful it is evidence God has blessed you.
Jesus on Prayer (Matt. 6):
5"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to (E)stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners (F)so that they may be seen by men (G)Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
6"But you, when you pray, (H)go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and (I)your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
7"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their (J)many words.
8"So do not be like them; for (K)your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Church practice: oral prayers in public, prayers written down and read at public gatherings (including a recent Barack Obama gathering I attended)
Jesus on wealth (Matt. 6):
19"(Y)Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
20"But store up for yourselves (Z)treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;
21for (AA)where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Church practice: back to the success gospel, plus for instance the Roman Catholic church being the wealthiest nation (Vatican City-state) per capita in the world, amassing fortunes in gold, art, etc. looted from around the world (through the demanding of tribute from its churches and the looting of the new world gold in the 16th-20th centuries)
Finally, Jesus on the use of force (Matthew 5):
38"(AZ)You have heard that it was said, '(BA)AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.'
39"But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but (BB)whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
40"If anyone wants to sue you and take your [g]shirt, let him have your [h]coat also.
41"Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.
42"(BC)Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
43"(BD)You have heard that it was said, '(BE)YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR (BF)and hate your enemy.'
44"But I say to you, (BG)love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Church practice: lawsuits, articles of incorporation, the preaching of armed conflict, even though Jesus specifically said a Xian should not defend themselves. Making Jesus to be some kind of avenging angel who leads armies on America's behalf. In this way many Xians are more rooted in the god of the Old Testament than in the New Testament.
What's the difference between the God of the Old Testament and that of the New Testament in your eyes?
Wow. Big question. I won't go into chapter and verse citations, but here are some high points.
In the Old Testament, he is an angry God, jealous and petulant about his followers' attentions. This is a basic cultural ideal from millenia ago, "Our God is better than your god." Many places in the OT, Yahweh is considered the best god, but the existence of other gods is not called into question. He smites unbelievers, conquers his enemies, and calls for wholesale slaughter of men, women, and children when conquering. This is still cited in evangelical churches as being a healthy thing for Israel.
Where God's power is wholesale in the OT (parting the Red Sea, making the sun stand still, flooding the earth, etc.), in the New Testament, his miracles are retail, through Jesus (healing the sick one at a time, making fish and loaves feed a multitude). One wonders why, if Jesus could do these things, he didn't just end suffering altogether.
Where the OT God is very similar to other gods of the time, i.e. warlike and with a great deal of human failings (anthropomorphism), the NT God is a "God of love." "God is love." In the NT, the claim is that Jesus paid for the sins of the entire world, including all in the past and everything going forward until the end of time. Kind of an odd deal. God makes the rules that we cannot keep, which makes us evil and sinful, then pays the price for us. Hmmm sounds like a gospel sermon but the oddity of it all just makes me wonder what I was ever thinking to be involved with it.
If it had to make sense or require evidence, it wouldn't be faith, would it?
Interesting answers.
Any last words for our readers?
I guess my final word would be an exhortation to reason. We must, in the final analysis, think for ourselves and make our own decisions. One great way to do this is to ask better questions. What if I haven't necessarily been taught the truth? What would happen if I changed my mind?
Demand evidence. Think it through. Make up your own mind.
Flora, thanks for the opportunity to vent!
Chris
Chris has a blog called Faith In Action and a website on bonsai.
... in many places. However, a prime example on the web which you have complete access to is http://www.christianforums.com/. We'll explore their sillyness through my chronicles there.
Recently, I was supposedly very offensive in my introduction at ChristianForums.com, according to one kindly user who sent me this PM:
Hi! We wish to inform you that your report of a post in the forum New Member Intros - KnightOfArabia 16-2-2008 has been reviewed and acted upon by Staff.I wonder what was so offensive about this:
Please reply to this PM if you have any questions.
Lol I checked my PM's and someone actually reported THIS thread.Because this didn't seem very offensive to me. You decide:
Anyway, thanks for the welcoming.
What the fuck was so offensive about that? Did I not kiss enough ass there?The Knight has arrived!
Well, as you can see, my username is KnightOfArabia. I got the idea from the Kamelot song Nights of Arabia, which is a really awesome song.
My name is Flora Korkis, and I am a 17-year-old Armenian/Turkish/Arabic citizen of Canada. I was born in Batnayah, Mosul, Iraq on December 27th, 1990.
I'm an Atheist. I came here mainly to read more on you, but I guess I'll add more just so I can make this post a little more worthwhile.
I am the Founder and President of Aftermath, a nation-to-nation and local violence awareness group here in humble little Ontario (okay, maybe not little since it carries over a third of the Canadian population).
I love music. I think it has an amazing power to move us in so many directions. I love art. I feel the last dignified job in this world is being an artist.
I want people to think of me as an artist... as someone who was always creative and well-spirited about what I do. I want people to remember me for my ideas, and for all the hard work I put into Aftermath. I want people to remember that I ran this one woman show of a life of mine ON MY OWN. I did everything of value in my life up to this point on my own.
That's all.
Tell me about yourselves, too. I'd love it.
Hello KnightOfArabia:The rest of that e-mail was deleted for user privacy.
I'm, and I'm a "New member intro" mod, and I'm coming to you to let you know that I have edited a post of yours
Quote:
How the hell could you refuse a beard? :lol:
- removing the word hell because it violates the rule Words which are not censored but are considered violations. as explained here:
Usage of the following, in other than Biblical context:
damn
hell
bastard
ass
will result in staff edits and infractions.
Please take this time and read our CF rules.
The way this works is, we extend grace the first time, we then hand out warnings, after you have had a warning, we issue infractions, after 4 infracations in a 6 month period, you recieve a 30 day ban, after 8 infractions in a 6 month period, you recieve a permienent ban.
Welcome to the forum, and if you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
Any communication about this report, will be added to the report found here.
Thank you...
Usage of the following, in other than Biblical context:
damn
hell
bastard
ass
will result in staff edits and infractions.
The improper usage of God, Jesus, or Christ is already covered in an existing rule, but such usage will result in a staff edit, and an infraction.
************************************************************************
If should be noted that staff still have some level of discretion, and infractions may not be automatic, especially in the case of new members, or possibly for the first violation.
The above is not considered a rule change, but more so a clarification of the existing rules, specifically in the case of words which are not censored, and how violations will be handled.
******************** Clarification ********************
Originally posted by Constance on December 3, 2007
Added to this
post by Tangeloper - Dec. 3, 2007
OK, cussing has been addressed under several different categories (blasphemy, triggering the filter, and non-filtered cussing). I'm readdressing it now to get rid of the inconsistencies between categories.
ALL instances of "cussing" will be moderated in a like manner. If reported, at minimum, a staff or member edit is required.
If someone posts "R-O-F-L-M-A-O" or "Hell!", moderators have the discretion to edit to "R-O-F-L" or "Heck!", or send an RFE, or warn, or infract, but at minimum it should be edited.
For the sake of discussion, let's assume that "poop" is a horridly vile word. If a member posts p00p or p**p or poo-hoop or calls a member a [washmymouth][washmymouth][washmymouth][washmymouth]ybutthead,
mods will send an RFE, or warn, or infract, but at minimum it should be edited.
Heck, darn, shoot, etc, are OK. In regard to abbreviations like SNAFU or LMAO, first, care should be taken because sometimes people use these abbreviations without knowing what they mean. Enough research should be done to make sure that we don't give someone an infraction for using the word asinine, an innocent acronym, etc.
If a mod contacts you about an ambiguous acronym or word, please educate them and provide them with information about the word or phrase.
In Summary:
1) All word violations are to be treated
similarly.
2) Mods have discretion as to how they are treated.
3) All instances that are reported will at minimum be member or staff edited.
Professionalism is clearly at the heart of CF! Kudos to you for keeping that dirty third-grade-level demonism out of our hearts and minds!
I was very rude to CatholicSue at one point, and I shall thank the kind folks at CF for challenging my behaviour. I can't just copy and paste the entire message for you to feel wholly fulfilled, so here is the thread that they made on me (seriously, they love me that much. Ewww creepers). http://christianforums.com/t6881817-new-member-intros-knightofarabia-16-2-2008.html After all, CatholicSue was right - Atheists are the only ones persecuting Christians, and the other way around never happens! Look, there's an Atheist trying to destroy the 10 Commandments! Kill the heathen!
Here's the general ChristianForums.Com Rules. Again, the most professional parts have been bolded:
The names or titles of God, including Jesus Christ and the Persons of the
Trinity (Father, Son, or Holy Spirit), in any language, are not to be used as
expletives or interjections or in an abusive, mocking, or insulting way.
Sharing of information about one's beliefs, for instance by quoting Bible
verses or witnessing, is encouraged. Honest debate and discussion regarding the
existence and nature of God is allowed and welcome. Mockery of Christians, Christians beliefs, and the Christian God are not.
You will not promote any faith, belief, or religion other than Nicene Christianity. Promotion of Satanism and occultism is strictly prohibited. Promotion is defined as encouragement of the progress, growth, or acceptance of something including advertising and publicity.
Flaming, baiting, trolling, or feeding trolls is not allowed. This also applies to groups. In other words, play nice, don't hurt others, nor call them names.
If you think you are being flamed, choose *not* to be offended, but instead take a break, and communicate, rather than escalating or accusing others.
Defamation is not allowed.
Harassment of another member is not allowed.
Threads which are off topic for the individual forums are not allowed, and substantial derails of threads are not looked upon in a favorable fashion.
Congregational Forums wishing to remain safe havens may choose to limit debate to members of their own denomination, insist that all posts conform to their creed etc.
Age and or gender restrictions are to be respected.
Reasonable confidentiality will be respected by Staff and Members, alike. Issues with staff decisions should be taken to the staff member, then the reconciliation team, period. Don't post them, don't PM them to others, don't take them to Lee.
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site.
Use the brain God gave you. Think before you post. Think about how your post may affect someone else.
I honestly don't even know where to start with this wonderful information. Free speech clearly entitles restricted speech! Also, telling me how to feel saves me plenty of time. I've got no need to feel anymore! Also, I'm going to be some big giant douche on the net and take everything that's said to me from a stranger 100% seriously, and maybe cry, and hopefully, kill myself.
In other words, you can go fuck yourselves, you fascist bastards!
Okay, you may think, "Wow, Flora is one dumb bitch." Or you may just be thinking, "What the fuck?!" Either way, I have a tube of lipgloss lodged in my ass, and here's the rediculously short story.
It was early in the morning, and I had the oddest thought. I thought to myself, if I wanted to, could I easily smuggle drugs via my anus? And I definitely thought I could. So I gave myself a challenge.
What I did was look around my room for anything somewhat bigger than a drug capsule but that I could fit into my anus. So, I looked around, and found a tube of lipgloss. So, I gave it a shot. It was easy to put in. The trouble now is getting it out, which, according to my ex. doctor of a father, needs to be shitted out.
And so, I wait.
In The Toronto Star's website, an article just popped up about 90 Canadians being stranded in Argentina. Apparently there was a labour dispute that caused cancelled flights, creating riots, and that was what resulted in the situation. Here's the article, and here's my favourite little part:
After two weeks of vacation, Normand Robert and his wife had checked in their
bags Saturday evening when trouble erupted.
"There were only two
security guards, people were yelling, there were fights," Robert told Montreal
La Presse.
"It was incredible."
This will only be funny to Canadians:
Here's the American Eagle,
so beautiful and grand.
Flew across America,
and shitted over Newfoundland.
Credit: Danobear's granny
Malaysia, which relies heavily on foreigners for menial work, has frozen the
recruitment of workers from India, an official said Tuesday, in a move
apparently linked to unrest among the country's ethnic Indian citizens.
About 140,000 Indian migrants work in Malaysia, constituting the third
largest group of foreign workers.
Malaysia had barred employers from recruiting any more Bangladeshi workers in October following problems sparked by labor agents who leave the migrants stranded on arrival. There are some 200,000 Bangladeshi workers now in Malaysia.
The Home Ministry official said Indian workers who are already in the country will be allowed to stay until their permits expire, but they will not be renewed.
He said the ban is related to recent unrest among the country's minority ethnic
Indians, who are demanding racial equality in the Muslim majority country.In November, about 20,000 ethnic Indians, most of whom are Hindus,
demonstrated on the streets, complaining of discrimination, in a rare and
open challenge to the government.Subsequently, the government arrested the top five leaders of the group that organized the protest, the Hindu Rights Action Force. They are currently being held under a law that allows indefinite detention without trial.
Summary: Malaysian Muslims > Hindus and Indians. More-so with Hindu Indians. Don't agree with the Malaysian government? Prepare to get sodomized in jail (don't drop the soap!)
Source of quotes: Malaysia Bans Indian Recruitment
Ever since Cardinal Ratzinger from Germany was named Pope, controversy has followed his very footsteps. We didn't blame him for his participation in Hitler Youth as a child; we can't expect him to not do something that was legally compulsory. We didn't blame him for his "mistaken words" against Mohammed to the Muslims. And the Canadians certainly didn't blame him when he said that Canada was hell-bent due to it's legalization of gay marriage.
I never had many problems with personally, though I've had many with him religiously, but after reading on his new "plans" to fight Satanism head-on, there is no possible way that I can ever, in my lifetime, have the capacity to take him seriously. Here are some exerpts from an article regarding the matter:
The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of
Satanism.
Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.
They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."
Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight
demonic possession.
The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.
"Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," he said.
And my mom told me that Mortal Kombat could never become a reality. What a lying bitch!
Here was another really funny tidbit that I loved:
Seriously folks, it's time to step up. We act like we've gotten rid of the biggest terrorists, but if that were true, why do we have an incredibly crazy pope and an incredibly dumb president heavily impacting the lives of people across the globe? If people did their research more before they made final decisions as to who they want to spend their lives being subordinates to, then we wouldn't have to deal with this kind of shit. We wouldn't have to be the workers of the real terrorists, and we wouldn't have to feel cultural inferiority complexes because we wouldn't have bad leaders making us look like asses. And most of all, at least they'd be able to come up with more reasonable and original targets than the internet and rock music.The Vatican is particularly concerned that young people are being exposed to the influence of Satanic sects through rock music and the Internet.
Well, the reasons seem pretty good, don't they?
Happy holidays, and merry Christmas, everybody!
Oh... My.... R2-D2...
You just have to read this article. I pissed myself in the process.
http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/
The picture really did it for me.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
No, I’m not talking about that time after tax season; I’m talking about the time before it.
Christmas is a great time of the year when Jesus was born to convert Pagans and Jews; when they lie that old, morbidly obese white men ride on magical flying sleighs; powered by magical flying reindeer (one of which has a glowing nose) to pronounce the great magics of God, where said man then proceeds to break into your house and put presents under Christmas trees (which we also know as the “dead pine trees” lie), giving lots of presents, and eating so much after 2 weeks that you can’t even see yourself shitting on the toilet anymore.
We all know that Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th some 2000-ish years ago, because there is no possibility. It wasn’t lied about because they wanted to celebrate his birthday a little earlier than April 1st, and a lot researchers would happen to agree with that theory. And certainly, the Church would certainly sink to the level of converting Pagans and converting Jews. Think they care about you knowing the truth or even about Jesus himself? They only want more recruits for their army of shitheads.
Next, Santa was not some big fat sleigh-riding white man who owns magical reindeers, elves, or some sweetass mansion in the North Pole, and neither did he ever have anything to do with Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus is a derivative of Sinterklaas, who came from the concept of Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas was a Turkish man from Asia Minor, specifically Turkey who was just really nice to everyone, saved 3 girls from lives of prostitution, and gave stuff to poor children in his village.
Imagine the modern-day perception of Christmas, which includes all the stuff said above. Did you know that the only part of those descriptions that actually is any part of Christmas is Jesus? Guess what the real holiday that includes Santa, presents, and immense amounts of turkey is: YULETIDE! Not only that, but notice how the Church “stole” the holiday of the Pagans they hate so much: “Germanic pagans celebrated Yule from late December to early January on a date determined by a lunar calendar.” Did you know that the original concept of the Christmas tree also came from German Pagans? But we’re sure it was all just some really big coincidence.
I’m just hoping you now realize what a croc-o-shit it all really is.
Speaking of croc-o-shits, you know what really grinds my gears? Buying someone coupons for a gift. You want to know what two things that says to me?
1. I went to a store and got you nothing.
2. You’re too stupid to know what to buy, so I’m limiting you to 1 store.
Until next time, ciao folks!
It is possibly the most overused excuse for failures in anything, and it's really pissing me off. There's a thing in life called "responsibility," and some people still need to learn to take it. However, wouldn't it be awesome if there was a flag that took away one's ability to use the card for 2 weeks when they misuse it? If only things could be a little like this....
Honestly, Chad Vader is one of the funniest YouTube series I ever watched. Just watch 1 episode and you will DIE of laughter. For all of you Star Wars fans, this is a must!
I just saw this video on YouTube after I found the info on... well, you know, the post right below this. I thought this was the coolest thing ever, and if you want to order the Litter Kwitter, go to the Litter Kwitter website.
We all love him... well, not all. Some prefer to love to hate him, as did I, before I actually really heard what he had to say out of the spotlight. He's the co-host of UFC (I can't even remember whatever the fuck the other dude's name is), he's a comedian, he was that guy that hosted Fear Factor, and until recently, I've discovered that he's that famous blogger.
Joe Rogan, the Gaian sensation, is a very unique character. Once you see him on TV, you think he's a total tool, but when you check out his blog (at http://www.joerogan.net/), he's the fucking shit. Seriously, whenever I listen to him comment on any UFC fight (yes, he's a commentator too), he sounds like he's taken it up the ass one too many times by Randy Couture. Then, when he was a host on Fear Factor, he just seemed like a gross fuck who was funny at times. However, I now know differently...
Honestly, I had a love/hate relationship with Joe until I looked at his blog. For example... you know how you used to think his loud voice was violently obnoxious? Well, now I see it in a different light: whenever I'm at a bar watching a UFC event, and whenever everyone's screaming like a bunch of rampant gypsies (they honestly scream like gypsies each time their favourite guy takes down the opponent), I can always count on hearing one man: Joe Fuckin' Rogan. Whenever I hear him acting like he's been getting ass-fucked by Randy, I just can't help but find it humorous. Joe's just that kind of guy once you get to see the more personal side of him. Hell, I'm loving this guy now!
Lastly, as a treat, here's Joe Rogan's reaction to the infamous "2Girls1Cup" video, and his friend's reaction to the BME Pain Olympics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhevNN1BDnQ
I've decided that, every week, I'm going to lighten things up with a post on things that I find absolutely funny. Obviously, they'll all be stuff from the internet.
This week's Funny Finds:
Pokemon Porn Names List that I made in August of 2006
David Blaine Street Magic: Youtube Edition
David Blaine Street Magic: Youtube Edition Pt. 2
ThingsMyBoyfriendSays
Laguna Biotch (Laguna Beach parody)
Enjoy the finds!
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