Today was quite an annoying day. Me, my brother Samir, my brother Rafi, my mom, my aunt Shukria, and my dad Ramzi Gorgees were all downstairs. Yes, I'm revealing his last name because I am that fucking pissed off. Here's why:
While we were all downstairs, my brother had a fight with my dad. Ofcourse, it was all my dad's doing. My dad was actually trying to get him to pay back all the expenses my brother had incurred on the family just for practically existing. He was yelling at my brother and acting like he could just take his money at any time, and he'd get to make Samir pay for existing if he didn't abide to his rules. So basically, the thousands of dollars Samir earned for himself was part of what he owed to our dad just for living.
What pissed me off the most though, is the way he undermined my mother when he talked to her like she was some concubine in Iraq. He was malicious with his words, and undermined her wholly even though she's the one making the money that allows him to manipulate my brother psychologically. My mom not saying anything about it all pissed me off almost as much. It's honestly like she's lost her will to voice herself.
Later on, me, my mom, and Shukria were talking to each other. My mom was crying, and I kept trying to cheer her up with some success to show for it. I finally got her happy, and then we started talking about Jamile (my great uncle and Shukria's now-dead husband). I only knew since today of how he committed physical and mental abuse on her over the years, which enraged me. Now I'm glad I didn't go to his funeral.
This all calls for a new category called "Promises" - basically what we promise to abide by on this site. We'll also have "Goals" to see what we can go without talking for at least a certain period of time. So, here's for my promise: I promise not to talk about my father ever again on this site. Consider him erased from every corner of ATWKS. He's just become too much of a negative presence in my life, even to write about.
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